Grow Out

by Chris Noran

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about

This album is a postcard.

From: So I thought I was going home...
To: Things seemed to end up alright.

credits

released April 11, 2017

Lyrics—Tracks 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11, 12: Christopher Noran.
Tracks 1, 9: Christopher Noran and August Posch.

Vocals, guitar, bass, synth, sampling, programming—Christopher Noran
Cello—August Posch
Drums—Alix Pupo
Drums—Track 10: Alix Pupo and Christopher Noran
Mixing and mastering—Mitchell Cohen

Tracks 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11, 12 written by Christopher Noran.
Tracks 1, 9 written by Christopher Noran and August Posch.
Track 5 written by Christopher Noran and Ben Woodward.
Art and design by Christopher Noran.
Recorded by Christopher Noran and August Posch at 35-23-22 Studios.
Special thanks to Bill Cunningham for inspiring stories.

Special thanks to Mitchell, Freddy & Dylan for the videos, Ethan for the bass. Thanks to Kara & Jim, Kathy & John, Andre & Shaima, and Sean for the studios. Thanks to Abbey, Rick & Dorothy Posch, and Amy & Tim. Thanks to anyone who listened to my early demos in the car & on their phones & at my place. #GrowOut

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about

Chris Noran Massachusetts

☦. ☦. ☦,

Chris Noran is songwriter and multi-instrumentalist from Salem, MA. His first LP, Oceaner, was released on August 15, 2014. His second, Grow Out, recorded with a full band, was released on April 11, 2017.

He plays live shows both with a band and solo.
... more

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Track Name: From Scratch
So I thought I was going home
When a storm ruptured everything I’d known
And this storm still rages on
And I awake to find myself alone

And this burning love is all that’s left
And I thought that leaving was for the best
And I may have my regrets
But I’m not ready to give you up just yet

But you’re gone, already on your way home
You built a life and watched mine fall
You burned everything I loved
Then watched the clouds and smoke mingle above

While you ripped, you us ripped us apart
And you left with, you left with my heart
And I don’t know where, I don’t know where to start
Cause it all just seems, it all just seems so far

That these fields in my mind
Are lost every time
And it all just burns away... ☦.

With nothing left but time and nowhere left to go
You know the ashes paved the way for us, the way for us to grow
And just where we will go
Oh fuck it, I don’t know
And you, you just burn away
Track Name: What If?
Am I making the same mistakes as my father?
Or am I dreaming a little bit farther?
Am I living my life to the fullest?
Or has it all just been bullshit?

Can I let you go?
Or will I just let you down?
I don’t want you to give up your dream
Just to stick around
And who knows what’s out there to be found?
All I know is you gotta escape this town

What if, what if, what if you’re my open door?
And you’re just what I’m looking for
I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know, but I think I need you
I just need a bird’s eye view

And can I let you go?
I don’t know, I don’t know
Will I just let you down?
How will I ever know now?
And I can’t escape this small town
I can only hope you come back around

In fifty, in fifty, in fifty years from now, I’ll try to forget
And I won’t have regrets
About letting, about letting, about letting you go,
Will I? Will I? Well I don’t know

And this isn’t my father’s story
and eventually
It’ll all, it'll all, it'll all be history
Can’t you see?

That you’re meant for me
You’re everything that I need
I don’t want this to haunt me
No, I don’t want to spend my life in a dream
But what’s supposed to be
Will be, and I'll leave
Track Name: Harvest
When you’re older
When you’re older
I’ll be there by your side
When you find a home

And when you’re older
When you’re older
I’ll be there
To watch you grow

With every second I’m one step closer to my own death
I can feel the seconds; they pass through me with every single breath
But I, but I am not afraid

Now that you’re older
Now that you’re older
You don’t need me to bend down
To cry on my shoulder

Now that you’re older
Now that you’re older
You don’t need
Me around—no more

And I, oh I won’t forget that the clock’s been set
And I, oh I want you to live your life without regrets
Cause with every second I’m one step closer to my own death
I feel the seconds; they pass through me with every single breath
But I, but I, but I am not ready yet—
Track Name: Red Oak
And the man
Is as tall
As the wood
That he settles in
And your eyes
They go
To the sky
When you feel her presence
But if you turn back around
And don’t hit the ground
She is here & now
She is here & now
But your heart won’t stop wondering now

But I won’t forget about the Red Oak
No I won’t forget the words that she spoke
No I won’t forget my home

She is love
She is grace
She’s the smile
She puts on my face
She’s the sun
And the rays
She’s the light
In all my darker days
She is here
She is now
She is always
Somehow
But my heart won’t stop traveling now

She is you
She is me
She’s the wind
Between the trees
She is fire
She is stone
She’s the one
That will bring us all back home
She is dust
She is rain
And to dust
We’ll return again
And I won’t forget your name
Track Name: You & I
This one’s for you today
These words that I cannot say
I will sing tonight
But something’s different when brought to light

Such a sorry sight
What a sorry sight
And this time you hold, this time you hold the knives

Such a sorry sight
What a sorry life
And the life you lead, the life you lead’s a lie
You're a lie

On the phone one last time
You hung up and I stayed on the line
That’s when I knew that You & I
We'd never ever ever survive

You & I
You & I
We'd had our time
You & I

Can’t let go
No, not this time
Can’t throw our pictures into the fire
Into the fire

And I’m sorry that you weren’t my starry night
I’m sorry that I couldn’t paint uoi right
And I'm sorry that you were such a sorry sight
And I’m sorry that I left you
Left you alive

You & I
You & I
Had had our time
You & I

☦.
Track Name: Tomorrow
Spent forever in your arms
Then you let me go
Sobered up in your car
Now the background noise is all I’ll ever know

And if you—ask me
I will go, and won’t plead
Oh and you—take all you need
And you come and go as you please

You’ve got a collection of memories
From me and him—all the same
Faces to touch and pictures to see
Things end—and no one is to blame

But you—you ask
If I’ll stick around, If I can last
And I don’t know—And I swear this will be the last
And I’ll be gone by Tomorrow ☦.

You’re tearing me apart
I’m torn at the edge
For you things go on
And I’m still stuck on this ledge

The weight of far apart
Makes us fall apart
And can we restart?
I don’t know I don’t know

Is this too far
For my heart?
Send me to
Tomorrow

Running out of time
Time to borrow
It’ll all be fine
If we can steal from Tomorrow

Tomorrow
Track Name: A Ruffle in the Sheets
Is the bed half-full, or half-empty?
I don’t know, but at least there’s still me
And you awoke, and you fled in fear from your sheets
Was it a dream, or was is me?

Set me free
Cut the cord and let me be
And you’ll see, you'll see
Just what you need

And it may or may not be me...

It’s not a sacrifice
It’s what you needed all your life
And in spite of everything you tried
You’ll survive
And I—I will try
Not to mess it up, not to mess it up this time
It’s not a promise
But I’ll keep it in my mind

☦. ☦. ☦,

These days I seem to think of—you
Track Name: Dust & Glass
I can only think back to all I’ve known
Mind starts to collect memories I own
Back before dirt and back before skin and bone
Just trying to get this ever-receding gap to close
And we all come back to Dust & Glass
Before the time comes, is that too much to ask?

And I fear bringing a child into this world
I don’t wanna leave a little boy or girl

With the life I’ve had, because the life I’ve had
Has left me thinking on my end, and I won't pretend
That we can take it back, that we can erase the past
Even though I wish we had, I wish we had

More time to grow with each other
Oh I wish it didn’t have to end like every other—life
And I imagine us in 100 years just the same
We don’t feel the fire, we just walk fearless through the flames

And I don’t see the reality anymore
All I see is fear and escaping what we’d fallen for
And I wanna get back to where we were
And I want it to last forever

I won’t look back to Dust & Glass, cause all we’ve had, is all we’ve asked
And that is that and we can’t take it back
We've said all the things that we shouldn’t have, and now we’re left with our shattered halves
It’s all come back to Dust & Glass, and all things that live shall pass

And I think about you every day of my life
And It doesn’t change that I miss you all the time
And it seems that life has no reason or rhyme
But I’m sure we’ll see it all in season’s time...
Track Name: Blindsided
☦. ☦. ☦,

I couldn’t see the burning light
Couldn’t feel the heat of the night
No sirens on the other side
No I was blind, oh I was blind

Saw no smoke coming through the trees
I waited for you to come and save me
And I thought we would make it through
Now I know that it was just you

Thought we would make it, make it alright
But now I see the fire for the light
Didn’t think you’d leave me behind
But I was blind, I was blind

Blindsided
Oh Lord I was blind
Blindsided

Oh Lord
Oh how, how could I have known?
And where, where do we go?
I guess, I guess we'll just grow, Grow Out now

Woken up from a year long dream
Just about time we’d ran out of steam
Oh and if you, if you can’t see
That I was blind, then blame it on me

Oh Lord
Blame me
Cause I was blind
Blame me
Track Name: Dead & Gone
And the trees are on fire
And the sky is aflame
So you seek higher—
Ground before you cave

And you can’t leave
No you can’t stay
And you can’t seem to make a decision
Either way, either way

And higher ground has already been taken
And you, you know that you won’t make it
And the light turns and slowly takes you
And there’s nothing we could ever do

And you can’t live
And you can’t die
Not by your own hand
No matter how hard you try

But she’s, she’s Dead & Gone
Don’t know when, don’t know where, or what went wrong
Yeah she’s Dead & Gone
Oh and you, you won’t last very long

And you—
You led me to an end
And I, oh I—
Will always pretend

That if there is something I can try
Won’t let this love of ours die
If I can keep this spark alive
Then there’s nothing I won’t sacrifice

☦. ☦. ☦,
Track Name: Awaiting the Fall
Waited for so long
For you to call
Sat there by the phone
Awaiting the Fall

So please forgive me
For leaving
Yeah I still believe
That it was meant to be

☦.

And you got what you need
And I now see
In reality
You weren’t the best for me

This must be a dream
Yeah don’t tell me
That we’re meant to be
You’re not thinking clearly

Please believe me
Just this one time
And you’ll find out
That you were never right

☦.

For me
And we will end this
Endless
History
Track Name: Alright
I remember sitting there in your grave
I remember when your hair was growing grey
I remember all those long hard days
When you couldn’t even remember my name

I remember sitting there, in your chair
I sat out the hours, and out the window you’d stare

I remember when the days were so much easier then
And then you couldn’t work, and we just watched the money get spent
And I remember how it could have been
But we were younger then and thought things were as they’re meant

And I remember that we could have gone our ways
And I remember meeting at the park in those days
And I remember, but I couldn’t see it just right
And I remember you were going blind

And you thought you were dying
And I thought there was no way we could try it
I think it worked out in the end :)
Yeah I remember when we tried being friends

And I remember sitting there on that park bench
I remember trying to speak words that could’ve made sense
I tried so hard in those days
But you always seemed to stand in my way

I looked into your eyes, and thought I saw a dying light
I thought I found what I’ve been looking for, all my life
And I thought we would walk down the aisle
And now that it’s happened, I haven’t seen you in a while

I remember when we were 16 at the prom
I remember asking you in that auditorium vom
I remember looking at you, yeah you're the one for me
How could it happen, oh, how could it be?

I looked at you, and held your hands, and said well that’s the end
I thought I couldn’t go on, so I wrote you a song
Played it for you on that evening
When you thought that I was leaving

In that bed, with your mother upstairs
On the last day, we could feel the summer in the air
I remember crying on the blanket on the beach
I remember thinking just how the two of us could meet
I remember you crying in my shirt
I remember sitting there just smiling, covered in dirt

And I remember as a child
We’d get off the bus and sit and talk awhile
I remember in the yard
When the world was so big and so far apart

Oh, but so far, our story’s gone on
And mine alone, seems to be a little bit too long
I remember how it could have been, and how it never was
I remember dreams of New York City, and a tour bus

But in that school yard, on that autumn day
We found out that we couldn’t ever part ways
No matter how hard we tried
Things seemed to end up alright.

☦,